Vending Machine

A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut
before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if
there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told
him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine
that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted
$15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine
started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out
his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of
his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures,
$20.00.' "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his
hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen
seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service
Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents. The salesman looked both
ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some
anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started
buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen
seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to
withdraw his tender unit... which now had a button sewed on the end.